"Queen Elizabeth doesn't care about black people."
~ Kanye West on Queen Elizabeth
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Queen Elizabeth -I
The parallel version of Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Elizabeth -I is comprised entirely of black hole juices and dark matter-related stuff. She currently lives in Bizarro Buckingham Palace, which exists in 3 of the 5 known parallel universes simultaneously. Her hair is a different colour in each universe, ranging from green to 8 and three quarters. Other than that, she is the complete opposite of Queen Elizabeth I in every way, right down to her slender physique and her tolerance of Jews.
Queen Elizabeth I
The last Tudor monarch, her reign saw the rise of the Welsh Empire. Hurrah! Yah boo sucks to all foreigners!
Explorers with pink paint went out all over the world painting countries and large areas of continents pink, which was to have a long-lasting effect on atlases and globes of the Earth. North America was one of these areas.
The people in these pink places were then told that they had been discovered, confusing them completely, as they'd always known they were there, wherever "there" was. But they didn't have history books, so they couldn't prove it, and anyway their opinion didn't count.
Her father burnt Catholics for not being Protestant. Her sister Queen Mary burnt Protestants for not being Catholic. She burnt Catholics for not being Jewish or Siberian. This basically explains the present British "oh, who cares anyway?" attitude to religion. All the fanatics went off in ships to live in the pink countries. (See Puritans and Fundamentalists but not Fun.)
Also, her Spanish brother-in-law sent a lot of armour-plated ships called the Spanish Armadillo to attack England during her reign, but God was on our side, and they lost out in a big way.
Daughter of King Henry VIII and mother of nobody at all.
Her hair was the colour of carrots, but when Gilbert said so she smashed a slate over his head in a memorable scene from the movie about her life Anne of Green Gables.
Queen Elizabeth II
- For main article, see: Liz Windsor
The current British monarch, her reign saw the end of the British Empire and its conversion into the Commonwealth which still includes Canada, but doesn't include the USA. (As far as they know.)
The Hackney Empire, which is a theatre/cinema and far smaller than the British Empire at its peak, kept going during her reign, however.
Daughter of King George VI and mother of Prince Charles and Camel Parker Bowels, who hopes to be King George VII one day. Don't ask. It's all to do with politeness and superstition.
A little unknown fact: She likes to play with Lego on her days off from doing nothing.
Queen Elizabeth III, revenge of the Royal House
Funkier and hotter, in theatres next summer... Wherever there's a monarchy there's a relative...