This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it probably didn't happen.
Represented here are the time periods from 1956AD to 1976AD.
Contents |
1956
This is the car that drove 1956 to the brink.
The saddest year of the 1950s
- 1956 never really got over the fact that the 1957 Chevy came out a year too late for it. The mental trauma associated with this event caused 1956 to have a temper tantrum that destroyed Bikini Island with a big nuclear bomb.
- 1956 was also the beginning of the “Reign of the Rat,” as Mickey Mouse the Great came to power in Disneyland in that year. His reign of terror (which lasted until 1970) scarred an entire generation. One of the first moves by the new Mouse regime was the ethnic cleansing of the Pirates of the Caribbean from Castaway Cay.
- On a lighter note, 1956 was also the year that Crack was invented by Edwin P. Crack, noted Canadian chemist and shoe salesman. It was also the year in which Ohno succeeded Lord Weirdo as Protector of the American Way.
- 1956 was a “good” year for microwaves.
- In July, the Dionne Quintuplets joined together to form MEGADION in order to defend Canada against the previous year's Giant Ant Invasion.
1957
1957 is one of the mysterious Years that Never Were.
- It was first observed to take place shortly after 1956, and again just before 1958.
- 1957 only lasted for 2 months from October 19th till December 14th. It was as Stephen Hawking observed 'short but I'd give it one' he then elaborated that 1957 was a 'rent boy tart' and it would be 'wiping spunk out it's hair for a month' - Stephen has since been forcibly re-booted and has apologised.
- It should also be noted that the year 1957 (or possibly 1958) is the era when NASSA reportedly formed. Since the white media had covered it up as best they could, it is uncertain when exactly the event took place. For more information, see the article on the Old Negro Space Program.
- The United States entered into a strategic Car Fin Race with the Soviet Union, which never really recovered from the introduction of the 1957 Chevy Bel-Air.
- Four teenagers were given the electric chair in Florida for spitting chewing gum on the sidewalk.
- Nine out of ten doctors said smoking is actually good for you - just ignore all that blood and bile you hack up every day.
- The U.S. Government mandated that asbestos, the new, safe insulating material, be installed in all homes built in the U.S.
- We welcomed our new ant overlords. Toiling in the underground sugar mines began shortly thereafter.
1958
1958 was delared the International Year of Television by the United Nations.
- During this year, television ownership became mandatory in all industrialized nations to facilitate the spoon-feeding of advertising to entertainment-hungry citizens.
- Pope Incredulous XL declared Santa Claus the patron saint of Television
- Canada inagurates its own television service (consisting mostly of puppet shows and Quebecois soap operas) and begins jamming American TV signals to preserve "Canadian Cultural Purity."
- Fat Bastard Foods Inc. launches TV Dinners, nutritionally empty trays filled with delicious starch, fat, and salt to be consumed while reclining on the couch in front of the TV.
1959
1959 Was the Year in which the world came to an end, because the UNO did not pay their bills
- In 1962, the World was started again after an anonymous person paid most of the fines. Cable television and Radio hasn't been paid yet and are thus unavaiable.
- Einstein invented the Toaster
- The famous New York Goldrush of '59
- Aliens landed in Rosswell, but did not like the weather (it rained a lot in '59)
- Protesters of the Mickey Mouse regime in Disneyland are gunned down by troops under the command of Donald Duck.
- The Pound of Sex (symbol £X) became the official currency of The Bank of Insanity and Pirates
- Pope Credulous XS (The former Pope's evil twin) declared Saint Anne the patron saint of blasphemy.
1960
The year 1960 was directed by David Lynch, and although this is little known, the month of November 1960 was in fact guest directed by Stanley Tucci, who had just been born. Some people think this may be a myth, but everybody else knows better. The year 1960 was one of the biggest productions in history, with several billion actors. However, the record has since been broken many times over. 1960 took approximately fifteen minutes to make (some say exactly, but we will never know for sure).
As with many David Lynch movies, the story didn't seem to follow any linear nature. For instance, the northern hemisphere started the year as usual in winter, whereas the southern hemisphere started it in summer. This strange shift continued throughout the year, and nobody knows why, since as usual David Lynch won't reveal the meaning of his stories. 1960 was a very eventful year, and the script was certainly much longer than the average script. Stanley Kubrick was called in to do the science fiction bits. Akira Kurosawa helped out with period detail for Japan.
- The Twilight Zone airs "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street," which would late form the basis for a spin off series All in the Family.
- Sonny Curtis is defeated in a fencing duel against the third Law of thermodynamics.
- Planing begins to launch Plan B from Outer Space in 1961.
- The CAFTA treaty is signed by Mickey Mouse the Great, Fidel Castro, and Anita Bryant.
1961
The only year in the 20th century which looks the same either way up.
- John F. Kennedy took office as US President.
- He did not get shot and killed.
- Jackie Kennedy took office as First Lady.
- She did not get shot and killed either.
- Lyndon Johnson did not get a surprisingly quick promotion to President.
- He did not get shot and killed. There is a trend developing here.
- NASA astronaut Alan Shepard lands on Mars to great critical acclaim, then returns to Earth with the band The Laziest Men on Mars.
- Topless swimsuits and dresses were not "the latest fashion".
- Mary Quant did not introduce the miniskirt.
- February 8 - Plan B from Outer Space fails yet again. It is the last Plans from Outer Space to be attempted.
- Pac-Man had sex with an elephant thus producing the first Pachyderm.
- Andy Warhol synthisises the first quantity of Obnoxious Plastic
1962
Quite a lot of stuff happened in 1962. 1962 was the year that followed 1960. This is often misquoted as being after 1961, a year that was cancelled due to a lack of interest.
- This unusual cancellation of an entire year was both the result of political pressure by futurist lobbyists, and the increase in consumption of Canadian Beer worldwide. It is for this reason that 1962 is considered the "Hangover Year". It was turned into a major feature film by Sergei Eisenstein who left his signature style all over that year which was otherwise completely irrelevant to human history. Important stuff happened in the ant world however.
- The first VinDieselian is supposedly stolen by Troy Waters.
- Rules are invented by Microsoft.
- 1962 was the only year in the 1960's in which no Kennedy men were killed.
1963
- Sexual Intercourse, better known as Quentin Tarantino, invented and discovered itself. Discovered and invented. Invented and discovered. And there was much rejoicing.
- Shortly afterwards, Hippies were invented, along with the idea of mixing Sexual Intercourse with drugs.
- Not long after the rise of Hippies, effort was stoned to death.
- John F. Kennedy resigned from office, to live out the rest of his life with his girlfriend, Marilyn Manson. A drugged Pete Best was substituted for Kennedy in an "assassination" event, hosted by Dallas Cowboys' coach, Tom Landry. Shortly thereafter, a microscopic phantom Japanese log rider punctured the brain of John F. Kennedy, making the assassination almost ironic.
- The year the music died.
- Goatse was invented.
- Tomorrow actually came. Huh.
1964
Ah 1964, everybody remembers it unless you were born in 1810.
- In this year, football was made legal and giant flesh eating moths were introduced to keep people from enjoying it too much.
- April 17 - Maynard James Keenan is born in Pyongyang, Patagonia.
- July 12 - Art Garfunkel raises an army in Seattle composed mainly of collegiate students and invades the Washington capital of Olympia.
- July 14 - Art Garfunkel dies from genital herpes. Power in Olympia is returned to the people.
- On Dequimbar the sisty fith, a new calender was made. everyone agreed it was shite.
1965
1965 is the only known year in modern history where absolutely nothing interesting happened. So boring that it was later given the nickname "Year Of The Bore", 1965 had terrible consequences for the following years. In 1966 almost 42,000 in the US alone died from boredom related illnesses, including restlessness, catatonia and hitting the snooze button until death occurred. The war between Great Britain and the Faroe Islands began the same year on the grounds of wanting "to shake this place up a bit, y'know?". The conflict was settled in 1974 with a soccer match won 3-2 by the Faroe Islands on golden goal. In 1965 however, nothing happened.
Events
- None
Things that did not happen in 1965
- No sporting events were won.
- Apes did not develop advanced civilizations and rise to challenge mankind as the master race of earth.
- France did not explode.
- The above statement is false.
- Neither did Holland.
- The leader of the USSR was not caught in bed with the American first lady and her younger hotter sister.
- No one important died, no one important was born. (including Ian McClain)
- No new Kool-Aid flavor was introduced.
- Booties were not shaken, neither were bon-bons nor milkshakes.
- Sex was not had.
- Poland was not forgotten.
- La vida loco was not lived.
- The Vietnam War hoax.
And the tofu war Did not began in Mongolia.
1966
- 1966 was the year WW6 happened. It was China vs. Taiwan in the ultimate battle. Nirvana was dead by then, so they weren't there, but there was Toe Jam. Toe Jam came, kicked Mussolini out of office and took over China. Then America came and joined the party *random party music*
- 1966 was of course the year that England won two World Wars and one World Cup. Manager Alf Garnett's winning team, Led by Roger Moore, Beat Germany 3 and a half to two. Among the winning world cup squad was John Lennon, Charlie Croker, Mary Quant, Dougal from Magic Roundabout, Roy of the Rovers and A Russian Linesman who scored the winning hat-trick.
- Last known year in which everyone's parents had carnal knowledge of one another. Yetch!
- The Sercian War begins, sparking a three year civil war in Sercia.
- Japan launches its magical girl program, headed by witch Sally Yumeno.
- The first Super Bowl is planned, but nobody shows up.
- It was cloudy, with a slight chance of rain late in the afternoon.
1967
1967 is remarkable for its relative quiet, falling as it does between rowdy partyboy 1966 and ninja-assassin year 1968.
- The Soviet Union attempted to catch up to American space efforts by launching several men into low Earth orbit with a gigantic slingshot located in Siberia.
- Often reffered to as: "The year that was eight years after 1959, and two before 1969".
- Hippie Music became more popular, exemplified by stoner Jim Morrison's really awful poetry set to music by members of the band "The Doors".
- San Francisco was chosen to host the Summer of Love, a type of counterculture Olympics featuring events such as psychedelic drug use, promiscuous sex, prolonged voluntary unemployment, and the very popular Marathon of Not Bathing.
- England lose the World Cup to The Tartan Army(otherwise known as Celtic FC), Led by William Wallace and the celebrated Scottish Golfer Dennis the Outaw. The Tartan Army won by destroying their goalposts so the English couldn't score any goals.
- Clear Channel is started by fluffy bunnies and furry kittens as a means to make mankind happy.
- Ohno retires and is succeeded by Legendary Dude.
- The Pirate Liberation Organization, a terrorist group, is formed in Disneyland. Later that year, a PLO protest turns violent in an that comes to be known as the Battle of Orgreave.
- Birth of crime-fighting actor David_Hewlett.
1968
Ninja-assassin year belonging to the 1960's. Under conflicting social pressure from various special-interest groups, 1968 went a little nutso, fell in with a group of ninjas, and proceeded to kill and assault various students and celebrities until finally being taken out by 1969 in Times Square NY.
People attacked by 1968 include:
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Robert Kennedy
- Andy Warhol (who did not die of his wounds until thirty years later)
- Helen Keller - Dragged into the afterlife screaming her hands off.
- The Vietnamese village of My Lai
Some other stuff that went down in 1968:
- June 6 - Sweden declares war on Norway "just for fun".
- Scooby-Doo was born in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania
- Consumption of Boiled Ham became legal in Ireland
- China attempted first Lunar Landing but mis-read the instructions on the rocket and ended up putting two astronauts into orbit around the Eiffel Tower.
- Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees took time out from touring with the band to publish a scientific paper postulating the existence of the Higgs Boson
- Elvis canonised by the Roman Catholic Church as the patron saint of the pelvis.
- Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade starts riot at SUNY Plattsburgh
- Donald Duck is kidnapped by radical elements of the Pirates of the Caribbean.
- Th. W. Adorno destroys all things.
- 15th June - Admiral Tansley and his navy carry out The Bombing of Guano. This swings The Sercian War back in General Juncal's favor.
1969
The 69 sex position was invented this year because people did simultaneous oral sex in favor of the Interstate network.
- Apr 11- Satan invents Disco
- Apr 12- Satan first teaches America how to get their funk on
- May 17- To the shock of many, it was discovered that a deaf, dumb and blind kid could sure play a mean pinball.
- June 30 - The Sercian War ends and General Juncal takes power.
- July 1 - San Franciso, Haight-Ashbury: all hippies rounded up and put in prison because of proven suspcicion of the tasting of "vinegar" of some sort.
- July 20 - The best-selling computer game Grand Theft Cosmo was released.
- July 21 - Some other guy figured out that the "going to the moon" was a hoax.
- July 22 - The government lanches conspiracy "Area 51", where they caught the people who figured out about the hoax and turned them into aliens.
- August 15-17 - Woodstock I (the prequel to Woodstock IV - VI) is released
- Nov 12- Sid Meier invents the theory of The Third Civilization.
- Dec 13- Satan loses battle of evilness to Yoko Ono
- Births
- Dr Dre - Rap artist and surgeon
- Pooty-Tang - Statesman and Cereal Manufacturer
- Procrastination - Nine months have passed since the death of effort, and Mary Jane's child, procrastination, finally got around to being born.
1970
1970 was the year that marked the end of the beginning and the begining of the end.
- The first, and last, Annual Guardsmen vs. Hippies games are held at Kent State University.
- The Lower North Middleton Pie Riots begin after legislation to ban the consumption of pie in the city fails.
- Punctuation is invented.
- The sum of all the digits is 17 which is a completely useless number unless you are planning to kill the Preserved African Swallow in which case you will need the number for no particular reason either. Oh, fuck off.
- Mickey Mouse the Great dies. The ensuing student demonstrations, called “Fantasyland Spring” lead to end of military rule in Disneyland and the beginning of democracy.
- Roger Daltrey becomes President.
- Smurf Jim Tayler is Indicted for manslaughter and assauLt and Battery on Michael Jordan.
- Architect Frank Lloyd Wrong is born in Hoboken, New Jersey.
- Sarcasm invented and used with disastrous results.
- Births
- Nearly none the first 3/4 of the year due to the popularity of the previous years invention. The coat hanger.
- Hand cream magnate, Plasmatic is born in northern Norway.
- Dick Clarks great grandson, Kippy the Great is born.
- Deaths
- a Salesman.
1971
The year well known only for being the palindrome of 1791
- In 1971, the British Empire lay in ruins. Foreigners frequented the streets, many of them Hungarians. (Not the streets — the foreign nationals.)
- The Treaty of Orlando is signed, creating the Mickey Mouse League, an empire that in the ensuing decades would create a global entertainment monopoly.
- The theory of Egocentrism is first introduced by me.
- September 4th, 1971: Elvis gets a paper cut.
- See Also
- 11110110011, 07B3
1972
- Notable as the year Billy Ocean turned 22
- 1972 has not been seen since and anyone who thinks they may have seen it recently should immediately get in touch with their local police. You should not approach 1972 directly as it is considered to be armed and extremely badly dressed. Also it might still have a twenty-two year old Billy Ocean inside it, and you don't want that in your head.
- The Sixties-est of years.
- Wales invades Iceland. Oddly, Iceland wins, thanks to weapons made of sharpened corn cobs.
- Saw the BBC use the word lesbianism, but only once. It had nothing to do with Billy Ocean whatsoever.
- Pedro is elected as a write in candidate to the office of President of Mexico. He also captures Speedy Gonzales in this year.
1973
The Year of Our Lord 1973 AD was the central year of the Early Middle 1970's.
- Jan 17, 9:22 AM: Osama bin Laden seduces his first goat.
- Jan 17, 9:23 AM: American President Richard M Nixon was secretly raped by an animatronic puppet under the control of CIA clinjas.
- Jan 17, 10:03 AM: An experimental program was introduced in Detroit Michigan to make American automobiles suck. This program proved so successful that, by 1978, it had been proposed as an amendment to the US Constitution.
- Jan 17, 10:07 AM: The category "Snacks" was removed from the Five Food Groups, which were later renamed "The Four Food Groups" in August.
- Jan 17, 12:40 PM: Bismark ND was devastated by a freak nipple storm which buried entire city blocks, ground traffic to a halt, and stranded livestock in the public libraries for several weeks.
- Jan 17, 5:05 PM: The South American country of Chile is sold "for parts or repair" at a garage sale in Washington.
- Jan 17, 5:06 PM: American President Richard M Nixon, having fully recovered from his traumatic encounter with the CIA puppet after intense psychiatric therapy, proclaimed victory in Vietnam.
- Mar 8, 4:20 PM: Pink Floyd pioneers gangsta rap music with their album Dark Side of the Moon. MGM re-edits The Wizard of Oz to sync up with it.
- Mar 12, 3:02 PM: Future dictator of the Middle East and Asia, Ricardo Montalban is created in a test tube by evil Dianetics scientists.
- Sep 1, 22:30: Birth of Hubert Canon
1974
1974: The Day the Earth Stood Still
What follows is the history of the year 1974, a year that each and every human being was forced to live through twice. Yeah, you heard me. Twice. Think about it... didn't it seem like 1974 lasted forever and ever? Yeah? Well there you go. Told you. And this is why.
1974 started off like any other year. But events were to unfold that would change the course of history... forever. Someone set us up the bomb. During these 365-odd days the Earth was destroyed, rebuilt, and destroyed again. Millions perished in volcanic fire, giant tsunamis, or meteor impacts, only to be reborn instantaneously and forced to go through it all again. Continents shifted, reshifted, scratched their collective crotches (I think Europe's runs through Marseilles) and shifted back again. Gods were created, forgotten, avenged, and then finally pwned by the penultimate cosmic realignment. What follows is the only surviving record of these turbulent times, in time-line format for easy viewing. The second time everyone went through all of it was called 1974.fish.
--attention to the faint-hearted--
This history is graphic in nature and really really intense. Even Rufus from Bill and Ted is too much of a wimp to read it all. If you're pregnant, don't read this, and console yourself with a pack of cigarettes in rapid succession. If you're brain-dead, you'll probably be fine. Speaking of cigarettes, anybody got one I can bum off of them?
1974 is also known as the year in which the entire city of London exploded, constantly for a year.
- Jan 1st - Dick Clark and Soviet Premier Nikita Kruschev rang in the new year in a celebration worthy of such an important occasion, spending over 74 million dollars on the llamas alone. Such a spectacle will never be seen on this Earth again, as all the llamas were wiped out in the Llama-Purge of 1992.
- Jan 2nd - As backlash for using that many innocent llamas for personal gain, PETA staged a protest, over thirty strong, outside the ABC network offices in Boise, Idaho. Seen at the march were such modern visionaries as Callum Johannsen, Arnold Guttman, and Skip Bogdanovich. Sadly all of these men were wiped out in the destruction, and never re-integrated.
- Jan 3rd - Boise Metropolitan Police Commissioner Jake Jakewood is killed in his home while drinking beer and watching the game from his toilet. The city is up in arms after two exciting events in two days, hitherto without precedent in Boise, maybe even Idaho.
- Jan 4th - Idaho suddenly begins to receive media attention from small Asian countries, who claim they had never noticed it on the map before. Exchange rates between potatoes and Japanese yen skyrocketed.
- Jan 5th - While on a trip to the supermarket, Richard Nixon notices the prices for a sack of Potatoes have all been marked in yen. Frustrated, he approaches the clerk and proceeds to beat the ever loving shit out of him. Failing to receive a decent explanation, he leaves the store in a huff and jumps on the red-line to the USSR.
- Jan 6th - In a little tobacconist's shop in Galway, Ireland (actually the one right in front of the UCTABTSSG), inventor Elijah Otis is struck by a cigar box and suddenly figures out how to produce cold fusion. He jumps on a plane for London to report his discovery.
- Jan 7th - PETA headquarters in rural Cheyenne, Wyoming is chosen for a live nuclear test by the President Richard Nixon. Wait, he's not the president!
- Jan 8th - An Earthquake of magnitude 7E/Alpha on the Goiter Scale hits Eastern Russia. Potato production is completely halted, as the state-run gulags basically split open and everyone ran out of them naked yelling "Ach! Mein tisch!" Potato prices skyrocket so much that they have to invent a new word for sky-rocketing, "tropospherically-accelerating".
- Jan 9th - Gerald Ford, actual president of the USA gets wind of crazy Nixon's plans to nuke PETA, and bitch slaps him on national television. This is seen as a sign of weakness by the evil Canadians who take the opportunity to invade Idaho and occupy the potato fields to hold them for ransom. Canadian Prime Dictator Ernest Borgnine is said to have left a message with Ford's secretary, stating "OMGLOL PWNED!!1!one!"
- Jan 10th - David Bowie, sensing a disturbance in the force, rushes to the Canadian capital, Ulaan Bataar, to negotiate with the government there.
- Jan 11th - The Battle of Northern Idaho begins and thousands of soldiers from both sides are slaughtered as the Canadians get shot, and the Americans crash their helicopters en masse.
- Jan 12th - Some of the escaped Russian gulag prisoners form an autonomous collective whose sole purpose is to worship an abandoned missile silo in eastern Kamchatka.
- Jan 13th - A group of American soldiers, failing to crash their helicopter, actually land behind enemy lines and set fire to the large stores of back bacon the Canadians had held in reserve, destroying their resolve and forcing a hasty retreat.
- Jan 14th - Massive protests sweep Geneva, Tel Aviv, and Basildon decrying the ruthless and vicious American burning of innocent back bacon. In what became known as the night of a thousand whines, groups of hippies and/or Europeans managed to burn over 4 American flags with minimal self-incendiation.
- Jan 15th - A misguided aircraft originally flying from New York to Washington DC crash-lands in Russia. Russia then unloads its massive nuclear arsenal. Of course since this is 1974, everyone lives and the world hardly takes a scratch.
- Jan 16th - January 16th was totally uneventful.
- Jan 17th - George W. Bush is born and immediately starts planning for world domination
- Jan 18th - Every single coat hanger in the world explodes, simultaneously. We are still unsure quite how this happened.
- Jan 19th - The many organisations of Liberal Terrorists each take credit for the coat hanger explosion of the 18th. However, all their stories of how they did it conflicted, and they were immediately sent to Venus.
- Jan 20th - George W. Bush, at the tender age of 3 days 0 days, owns up to the coat hanger affair, claiming it to be merely childish prank, and is forced to go without dessert.
- Jan 21st - The King of England Margaret "Trout" Thatcher finds a shilling in a car park in Rochdale. She weeps upon being told it's of no value, and annoys the community to the extent that she is given a probation order and forced to go without dessert.
- Feb 1st - Nothing happens. The nations currently under reconstruction breathes a collective sigh of relief.
- Feb 2nd - Nothing continues to happen.
- Feb 3rd - A newspaper article is released denying reports of nothing happening. The newspaper contains nothing else of note and is duly ignored.
- Feb 4th - Something happens, but everyone is so used to nothing happening that it is not noticed, drawing historians to now wonder how they knew something happened in the first place.
- Apr 4th - Tornadoes sweep the USA, inspiring the invention of the tumble drier.
- August 15 -- Karl Marx met Charles Chaplin.
- August 16 -- Unix day, first UNIX system was invented by Sam Hui.
- Sep 3rd - God reborn
- Sep 4th - Neil Armstrong rides the mighty moon worm and declares himself first Emperor of Mars.
- Sep 7th - Neil Armstrong finds many fields of spice and officially declares himself the spice king.
- Sep 12th - Neil Armstrong quickly stripped of his spice king title by The Spice Girls in a terrifying and bloody coup.
1975
Wobbly, uncertain year conveniently serving as the centerpoint of the decade popularly known as "The 70's." A bland, vanilla-flavored year, 1975 snuck in so quietly as 1974 faded that no one really noticed it was here until sometime in February.
- Dungeons and Dragons was officially released, replacing masturbation as the favorite Saturday night pastime of geeky fantasy/SciFi fanboys.
- Al Gore invents Gore Tex whilst searching for the internet.
- Ford Motor Company redesigns the Pinto, changing it from an inexpensive, moderately reliable form of basic transportation to the world's first four-passenger explosive device. Unfortunately, the detonator is placed behind the rear bumper and requires the impact of another vehicle to ignite, leading to massive recalls and the eventual discontinuation of the model.
- NASA launches the Viking 1 probe to Mars, but the crew stops off at the Moon for a little pillage and rape, become disoriented, and wind up veering off into Uranus.
- The Pope releases his best selling Live!: From St.Smurfs Basilica in the Land Far Far Away album A earth shattering 23 side album. This album was sold in boxes lined with fur made from muppets.
- The Human race is exterminated by the Kittens using iPods. Statistics show Kitten-related human fatalities skyrocketing while Kitten huffing loses popularity.
- Michael Jackson appears to have been born this year. Unrelated to the human race exterminatioon, he decolorates into transparency.
- On January 17th, 1975 Choirs of angels sang in glorious praise as slack, Unclyclopedia's greatest, and best-looking contributor was born on the windswept steppes of Illinois.
- Amusement park Vietnam Adventure! closes. Its most popular ride, Jungle Cruise, closes as well.
- February 22 - Drew Barrymore is born.
- July 4 - The beginning of the end begins.
- General Franco dies in Madrid, after a 41 year rule
1976
One of the most important years in the history of the United States.
US:
- It marked the 200th anniversary of the whittling of George Washington's false teeth. *Although world history marked several important events that year, none of it is remembered in the US, because the entire year was declared a national holiday. People dressed in silly Colonial costumes, boiled their underwear to clean it in imitation of the Pilgrims, joined Fife and Drum corps, and wrote all their personal correspondence on parchment paper to celebrate. So much Grog was consumed by the people of the US that the hangover lasted well into June 1977.
Rest of the World: 1976 was an unexceptional year for the rest of the world, with the exception of New Zealand where rabid sheep attacks reached an all-time high in suburban Wellington.
- United Kingdom: due to the hot summer, water was banned and everyone had to drink warm beer.
- France: the Gallic Shrug became the official National Sport.
- Kyrgistan: entered the Guinness Book of Records as the most mis-spelled country in recorded history.
- Denmark: lost out to Sweden in the World Pornography Championships for the third year in succession, prompting protest marches and ultimately the fall of the Government.
- Angola: income from tourism remained at an all time low as travellers around the word resolutely failed to find it on a map.
- Australia: Bruce and Sheila threw some prawns on the barbie and cracked a tinny.
- Ninja-Pirate Assembly of God: Ruled the discos of the World with an iron fist
- Jorge was conceived in Denmark
- Sponsored by the Green Party, The Eco-Squad is formed by Mervil Comics.
- Queen released a follow-up album to the one which featured "Bohemian Rhapsody".
- The Great Debate began in Elko. By the time it ended in 1993 everyone forgot what started the debate, so they all went home and bought Apple Computer stock.
- Donegal discovers sin. And it feels sooooooooo good.
- Oscar Wilde spends one day as God, and writes the grand monk's prayer to protect people from Chuck Norris.