“ Get out of My House!”

~ Bill Cosby on the Baboon


Hailing the mothership

Baboons will fucking kill you.


Contents

[edit] The Baboons Home World

A pain in the ass.

Saturn, they came here on giant pancake, with two spatulas! There home city is an entire civization made of Kitchen and bathroom appliances, such as pickles, horses,toilets, green, soap, and 45. The reason for there migration is that they drove there planet into the sun. Baboons are stupid.


[edit] Diet

As of now, all baboons are on Atkins as a plan to slim down for takeover of the human race (via Chuck Norris), but preceding their dietary switch baboons fed on flaming babies, medeival knights, Ashton Kutcher, Girl Scouts and people from Berkeley.

[edit] Uses

When baboons first Came to earth in the 1400's

Baboons can fix your T.V., do your homework, bribe the cops, be a decretive lamp, destroy your home, bring back dead relatives, wreck your car, crap on your food, choke your dog, poop on the neighbors, be a dentist, rob a bank, harass pop stars, kill the rest of the pandas, draw on your wall, rape john carry, break a leg, play videos games, use up all the hot water, break your windows, play karaoke, replace you at school, get high, rape the cat, tame squirrels, write anger filled letters to your local government, pimp out your old girlfriend/boyfriend, smash your cell phone, throw poop at Simon, clog your toilet, beat up a walrus, Reek havoc at local community pool, have random bouts of car salesmen destruction, wear the same dress that you were going to wear to the prom and much much more!!!

[edit] Fun Facts

A artist rendering of a baboon.

The baboons tail is acutely a large fuzzy worm that feeds on there ass when they are born. Contrary to common belief, baboons are afraid and full of mustard. There once were IRS Agents that bred them, but they were enslaved by Chuck Norris and trained in battle tatics for his secret Baboon Army. The Reason for the nasty looking ass would be, while Chuck Norris was training His Baboon Army one of the Baboons questioned him. So that Baboon was punished with a roundhouse kick in the ass. But the kick was so fast that it caught on fire and scortched the baboon ass. Now, all baboons live in buring pain for questioning Chuck Norris. Although, one Baboon has broken free of this curse. D.Lowe, the new Baboon King, is trying tirelessly to free his bright assed bretheren. But, he is constantly thwarted by his arch rival, Seb Mu the Cow Lord, and his ultimate tetris skills.

[edit] See Also