"Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?!"

~ Oscar Wilde on Batfuck Insane

The very sheer, straight, shimmery, fervent, sheer, and oh-so obscene BatbatbatbatFUCKinininininininsane was invented by Sterling Morton in 1928 while deceiveing a diode very rabidly. The stroke of genius was when they discovered that this thing was actually a ten-foot pole and was a diode to them all. Before that time, salad forks ran in the street all confused and sweaty-like until the BatbatbatbatFUCKinininininininsane was invented.

The term comes from the Latin, Defleitermousix Fornix Propheticia.

However, the lazy Latinate lingua hardly does justice to the burning reality of bat FUCK inSANE.

Contents

History

Gregorius Androgynous went Bat Fuck Insane in the year 103 AD. He devoured himself, starting with the head (which he roasted with shallots and pinyon nuts) and continuing with the tripes, which he pulled from the stump of his own neck. "Gurgghggh!" he said calmly, in classical Egyptian no less. What a BAT FUCK INSANE MAN! His friends, Romans, and countrymen were horrified as his decapitated and partially disembowled body strolled around the Forum and attended baseball games at the Coliseum. Finally the 500 foot Jesus hurled him into the Defleitermousix Fornix Asyluminatica for the unforgivable sin of drinking white wine instead of red wine while eating himself. There he perished whilst attempting to stuff Fermat's Lost Theorem up a stoat.

In 625 AD the emaciated friar Lucretius Leviathan began to preach about bats. He began to pray to bats, invoking their membranous wings as a metaphor for the Trinity, the Pentanity, and BAT FUCK INSANE! The skinny little weezer took bats into his bed and sang songs to them under the covers. He made soups and stews of bat guano. He began to put on a little weight and started looking pretty good, really. At last his neighbor, Cardinal Torquemada, had him drowned at the stake. Burning, said Torquemada, was too good for someone who was BAT TUNE INSACK.

King Froedrick IVII of Salmonella became bat bat bat batbatbatbatfuck BAT FUCK INSANE on learning that his wife, Queen Latifah, was actually a hippopotomas named Lucy Grindwhickers. He had been f*cking that nasty nookie for 17 years and NEVER NOTICED THE SMELL! Or her immense hippopotomas grin, for that matter. Anyway, King Fred declared himself the Well-Hung Savior and pranced through the streets of Froedricksburgh waving his St. Peter like a very small pink lariat. He was laughed to death by his cynical subjects, who had just learned that the 100 Years' War was going into extra innings. THEY WERE ALL TAB KCUF ENASNI!

George W. Bush once ate a pissicle while trying to molest Michael Jackson. Later he declared that "The US government does not, has not, and will never eat pissicles. And I never had sex relations animal doodie with that...um. Person. Thing. Whatever you call Michael Jackson." Bush is widely acclaimed as Americas most BATFUCKINSANE president.

At the close of WWI civilization was in Shambles. And all the citizens of Shambles were BAT FUCK INSANE. Through the magic of mental contamination civilization became BAT FUck INsane too. Just look at the drug laws, for instance. Just look at television programming. Just look in your pants. You can look in our pants, but you will have to give us a pfennig first. You dirrrrty bat FUCK INSANE pervert.

This ends our presentation on the history of batbatbatbatbatbatFUCKinininininininSANE. Please exit at the rear of your nearest public librarian.

Philosophy and Metaphysics

[Philosophy and Metaphysics] of 'BAT FUCK INSANE

Are you Bat Fuck INSANE? Why would anyone with a single particle of sanity expect BAt fuCK INININISAAAAAAAAA!NE to have a philosophy and metaphysics?

Oh, all right. Here is the philo-meta stuff.

In the tradition of pragmatic empiricism, BAT fuck INSANE holds that the guano stands in a superogatory position with respect to the stalagmites that are savagely violating the superego and BAT world-image. Hegel agreed. Proust agreed. Nietzsche made out with a one-legged hooker. >Hemingway agreed, and also offered us a pfennig to look down our pants. [WHO SAID THAT? is it the little batman in our brains, the one that keeps making us think about Bat Fuck Insane?]

No. No one is in our brains. We swear it. Take the electrodes off our skulls. Please. Please please please take the batbatbatbatfuckingINSANE electrodes off our skulls. What. The. Fuck? Over.



See Ape-Shit Crazy

  1. A person who speaks of ape fornication by divine inspiration or as the interpreter through whom the will of an ape-god is expressed.
  2. A person gifted with profound ape-morality insight and exceptional powers of sexpression.
  3. An ape-sex predictor; a forecaster.
  4. The chief spokesperson of an ape-sexual movement or cause.
  5. Chicken Noodles served in the Ape Shit Crazy fashion
  6. Ape Masterson
  7. One of the little-known attack patterns that King Kong uses to smack the shit out of his foes.

Causes

Mainly caused by the face-fucking bats. Some idiots hang out on ridges at dusk, waiting for the bats to come. And come they do. These madwomen do it for a rush. Why don't they just stick to train or elevator surfing? It's safer and less addictive.

See Also



 This article is complete, irredeemable mammary gland. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, and navigates at the mouth.
If you attempt to edit this, you will most likely become Bat Fuck Insane yourself.
Or the submitter will construct your paper.