Black Death The Black Death was a very very fun and enjoyablly healthy thing. A home-made blended beverage comprised of 1 part prune juice, 1 part molasses, 3 parts Metamucil, a pinch of wheat germ, and a healthy portion of chick pea vindaloo. This drink was originally invented by Hans Richtenstein, after an argument with his wife during which she accused him of 'irregularity'. After seven years without a single bowel movement, Hans invented his signature blend of tasty and nutritious ingredients which he packaged and successfully sold in train stations and at newsagents worldwide. Due to the explosive success of the Black Death (or more colloquially referred to as 'soda poop') Hans left his wife for a 16 year old girl named Migoria who had a cleft palate and a penchant for colonic irrigation. Sadly, the combination of high colonics and 'soda poop' caused the rapid intestinal implosion of Migoria, whose bits and pieces of skin and guts were found scattered across an entire supermarket early one Tuesday morning. Upon learning of the death of Migoria, Hans promptly sold his patent for the Black Death to Colonel Sanders, who dehydrated the drink and renamed it 7 Herbs and Spices, which was then added to the Colonel's signature Kentucky Fried Children. Needless to say, the new and improved snackfood caught on like wildfire, and is still popular to this day, 540 years later.