A map of the Republic of Chunnel. As shown in the map, many Chunnelese cartographers write the names of other countries in hilarious fonts to make them seem less important than Chunnel.

The Republic of Chunnel is a country in Europe that was formed in 1036 when Europeans agreed that they were tired of citizens of Wyoming getting so damn giddy over the fact that they were the only geographical location shaped like a rectangle. Chunnel is a member of NATO and the United Nations. It is also a member of the Alliance of Half-Tunnel Half-Country Hybrids.

"Chunnel" is also the sound of an alcoholic retching up his own stomach lining; please see Laura Bush.

Contents

Geography

The Chunnelese flag. Recently voted by the Board of American Vexillololology as the hardest flag to draw

Other countries often ridiculed Chunnel as a young nation for being shaped differently. Its mother told it to ignore all the teasing it got, but it couldn't ignore it all the time. As a result, Chunnel is often emotionally disturbed and probably has a mental disorder.

Chunnel is also often made fun of because of how small it is. In 1202, the Pope decreed, in a ridiculously over-Italian accent, thus:

"Attention citizens of Chunnel: You suck! Even Vatican City is bigger than your small-ass nation! Well, probably. We didn't actually do any math or anything. So you probably suck."

The King of Chunnel's reply:

"If you're so much of a country, then how come it says "City" in your name? Why don't you explain that, you over-sea-level jackarse?"

This led to The Great Excommunication of Everything, in which, as you have probably deduced using common sense although it is quite possible that you don't have common sense and thus it really does make a difference that this is being said, everything was excommunicated.

History

Well, since I just told you the first part of Chunnel's history because I totally forgot that I was supposed to be talking about its geography, I may as well go ahead and tell you the rest of it. Here it is:

Economy

Chunnel's economy was greatly improved in 1995 when it signed Europe's Blatant Rip-off of the North American Free Trade Agreement. Ever since this date, it has become legal for Chunnel to import or export products from both Britain and France. For some really weird reason only known to the King of Chunnel, the only products Chunnel trades are shuttles. However, due to Chunnel's poor border patrol, it is estimated that 100% of shuttles traded in this way are smuggling immigrants.

Politics

Chunnel is often noted for its diplomatic relationship with Mediocre Britain. This occurred because citizens of Mediocre Britain decided that they wanted a mediocre version of Chunnel for themselves. Chunnel leaders voted to break off about a kilometre of itself and gave it to Mediocre Britain. The Mediocre British were very pleased and have been friends with Chunnel ever since. Great Britain, on the other hand, wasn't so happy when it found out that everyone who tried to go to France via Chunnel kept on sinking. Fortunately, war was narrowly averted when Harry Potter taught his countrymen how to fly over the Chunnel pit.

Culture

The Chunnelese, like everyone else who isn't from United States, Russia, or Japan, are a very bland people that have absolutely no distinct culture at all. Mostly, they just try to rip off everything that Japan does. This is most evident when one considers that the Seikon Tunnel is bigger than Chunnel, which is generally regarded as the only time in history that something Japanese was bigger than any non-Japanese counterpart.

Los Factos Funnos