"A little Chia pet is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
— Oscar Wilde on the Chia pet
Internationally recognised as the driving force behind the fall of communism, Chia pets were first discovered as a small growth on the underside of George Clooney. They soon rose to world domination through their modestly priced range of Diary snacks, and founded the now infamous rap group The United Nations. Chia Pet was designed by the soviet communist Stalin as a motivator for troop activities in Chechnya. Chia Pet is totally Pat. Pending and sprouts hair which is distracting to the untrained eye which is distracting to the untrained eye. I love my Chia Pet, to touch the hairy ends of each growth makes my ends tingle with envy and impure adultry innner thigh joy! kekeke ^_^ love you always Chia Pet altimes.
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Nowadays Chia pets live in quiet seclusion on the outskirts of Kentucky.
Hear what others have said about chia pets:
Chi Chi Chia pet is the bomb mother f$^kerQQQ11!!
"Grow your very own cancer and come and join in on the fun!"
~ Joseph Stalin, spokesperson for the distribution of cancer advisory council.
"Ch...ch...ch...Chia Pet!"
~ Voice on the Chia Pet TV Advertisement.