"Cork..doesn't matter how many times you say it fast, it still sounds like shit. But at least it's better than Dublin."

~ Oscar Wilde

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History

Cork was founded in the year of our lord 1908 by a bearded cattle rustler called Shane MacGowan. Mr. MacGowan, or 'Hey you in the bushes' as he is so fondly called by the locals, decided to set up home on the banks of the river spittle due to it's copius amounts of water. 'Thats handy' he said.

Many others soon followed his lead once word got around that he was building a free society in which it was legal to marry farmyard animals. He was joined by many other like minded loonies and soon the town began to thrive and prosper for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Mr MacGowan died in 1904 but was brought back to life again 2 years later by his daughter, Doris the mule. He went on to live for ten more glorious minutes before he finally snuffed it again. He is buried under a pile of rags at the bottom of his garden. Strangely enough, the Garda (Irish for People-posing-as-the-Police) still got several hundred calls from people that claimed to have seen him crawl around on a stage in Dublin in December 2005.

Present

Today Cork, the capital of Ireland, of People's Republic of Cork, of United States of Cork and Mayo and of United Kingdom of Cork and Northern Brittany is populated with a strange, quirky and arrogant werewolf type people who mostly wear red and finish each sentence with the word 'boy'. An example being : 'Lovely day innit boy? Dat sunshine is feckin blindin boy'. Sun has since been banned in all parts of Cork due to an outbreak of smacked arse syndrome. Corkonians, especially North-siders, have a fierce distrust of everyone and everything around them. Especially people from Dublin. 'We is de proper capital of dis here Ireland', they shout when passing through Dublin on their way home.

See also

External links

Addendom: Corkesians don't say the word 'Boy' as previously mentioned, they use the word 'Like'. Should be mentioned that Red isn't their favourite colour either, it's Pink, and preferably in tracksuits.