Cream cheese is one of the 12 Fundamental Cheeses, and a building block for the universe.
History
In the beginning, all cheeses were creamed. From the dawn of time, in the milk vs cheese cage matches, cheese was always whipped and/or creamed. This lasted for many years, until one day, the King of Cheeses came along - Brie.
Such was Brie's potent smell that milk was reduced to curds and cheese ruled the day. Until modern time, no cheese was creamed.
However, in the last 12 years an upsurge of wussy-cheese breeding has occurred. To the despair of all cheese-lovers, Creamed cheese is one again being bred.
“Woe to the cheesemaker, if his cheese be creamed.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cream cheese
| The 12 Fundamental Cheeses | ||
| Brie | Cheddar | Swiss* |
| Le Roule | Goat | Grilled |
| Jarlsberg | Blue | Cream |
| Dubliner | Chucky | Darth Feta |
*Disputed
| The 3 Noble Cheeses | ||
| No Gouda* | Parmesan | Macand |
*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"