A doctor is nothing more than a drug dealer with a college degree (Note: Since Dr Dre has finished his degree, he should now be referred to as Dr.Dre, Ph.D. - not to be confused with Snoop Dogg, who has the title Pc.P.). So, forget about anatomy and forget about diseases - if you're really ill, don't waste your money; pop some DayQuills and a GinTonic and you're far better off. Doctors should ONLY be consulted when you need to get high. So, now to the essentials - how to get cheap dope from 'em.
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How to get rrrreal drugs from your doc:
Either
- The doctor is in, or
- The doctor is out, or
- The doctor is high
so...
The doctor is in
Slip a 10-dollar bill into his hand and tell him you've got the sweats. If he doesn't get the drift, wait until he leaves and see "the doctor is out" below.
The doctor is out
Steal all the morphines and amphetamines in his drawer, call all your friends and have an all-in dope party for a week. If you need to get down from your high quick, watch an episode of Oprah Winfrey. If you need to get down really, really quick, see Ricki Lake.
The doctor is high
Even better! Join up with him and learn all about dope physiology:
(Sing)
- Coke is connected to the nosebone
- Acid, connected to the throatbone
- Pot is connected to the bonghole,
- Speed injected in butthole
- Weeeeeeeeed!
Famous doctors
- Dr. Dre, (now Ph.D)
- Dr. Syphilis