Furry education at its finest

"WTF!? THAT'S NOT COMMUNISM!!!"

~ Karl Marx on Furries

“I love Furries! They're so nice to me! And they're all at least bisexual too. What kind people!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Furries

"GI need to outlaw Foories from the constitutioytion!"

~ George W Bush on Furries

"In Soviet Russia, half-animal cartoon creatures wank to you!!"

~ Russian Reversal on Furries

The infamous fur-covered cartoon beasts also known as "funny animals"—although the jury is still out on if they're funny strange or funny ha-ha. Furries were born when a computer virus created by a corrupt Sonic the Hedgehog game mutated and begun to infect humans, first altering their personalities and then their physical characteristics. The transformation continues until the victim is covered wth fur, has ears, a tail, and their mind is altered by the virus so several are Naked Mole Rats. They were shunned by the humans who have come up with a vaccine for the Virus (Used only on two known people: Jimbo Wales and Dr. Ivo Robotnik) and then rebelled to overthrow human society. Furries are part of a vast worldwide conspiracy to dominate the world with gratuitous use of Walt Disney cartoons and subliminal messages hidden in MTV videos. Phyllis Diller led the Invasion Of The Furries in 2001, calling for mandatory clip-on ears and tails for everyone, and skritches every Friday after work.

Once reserved for only high priests and wealthy businessmen in pre-Ming China, the trend was usurped by many lovelorn adult men, eventually seeping it's way onto pre-teen culture due to a mixup (and blatant loop hole) at the Obscure Fetish Council (OFC). Furry can also be contracted from mystic bagel shavings, and ancient Sanskrit prophecies etched on the back of perishable food containers. Furry cannot be contracted from well used Hall and Oats 8 tracks, contrary to popular belief, being usually confused for the explosive neon diarrhea and addiction to obscure Italian prog-rock bands, usually associated with the top 40 duo's media.

Furries secretly control many government agencies, including (especially!) the Department Of Homeland Security, National Aeronautics and Space Administration, the Human Genome Project, the National Park Service, and the Department Of Education. Furries have slowly been influencing Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) to show TV programs such as Postcards From Buster in elementary schools.

Did you know? God Hates Furries

Those who do not submit to furry world domination will be forced to live in human HabiTrails while prairie dogs and other small animals run the planet

For the past decade, furries have been working at NASA to build a Yiff Cannon on the moon, and that scares everyone. The Yiff Cannon will bring world peace, and then furries will own everything. Don't say we didn't warn you.

The Yiff Cannon on the moon will also bring about 24/7 world sex with furries and other furry things such as animals. Scientists say the best furry sex involves peanut butter and jellyfish, and the worst furry sex involves raccoon on wheat toast. No furry sex has ever, EVER, involved Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family, who is radically opposed to all things Furry.

The official Furry Holiday, Furry Fun Day, is June 1st.

In 2006, George W. Bush came out officialy as a furry hater when he outlawed animal-human hybrids.

Famous Furry Pirates

WARNING

This article is just a list.
If you love it, act now to save it!
Otherwise, the Lord High Famine shall strike it down
without regard to personal attachment or quality of whining.
If you truly care, make it an article.
Any monkey can make a list.

Join the furry revolution today! A partial list of famous people through history known to be scallywag furries includes:

Famous Furry Ninjas

A partial list of famous people through history known to work for furries and/or their other evil affiliates as Japanese assassins includes but is not limited to:

See Also