“ Trick or Treat Mothafucka”
~ Oscar Wilde on Halloween
All Harlots Eve is a tradition that goes back centuries in the west. On October 31st mothers everywhere would send their daughters out in whoreish costumes to gather tricks or treats around the neighbourhood. Traditional garb includes low cut shirts, short skirts and thigh high stockings honouring the dead and spirits.
In America Halloween has become known as "My Mommy Lets me Dress Like a Skank Night", but is still referred to as Halloween for short. On December 31, 1959 the holiday was protested by many conservatives, including such high profile celebrities as Oprah and Ultra Jesus. Consequently it was banned by the government until the 1960s.
In Sweden All Harlots Eve was instituted as a national holiday, raising the skank to dead spirit ratio to an all time high in the country. Following Sweden's success America legalised Halloween again in 1964, short skirts in freezing October weather were once again abound, pleasing the spirits.
For Children
For those children too young to skank-out, a series of rituals were created to get them out of the house and on the streets, so that older couples could enjoy each other's costumes in "private". Some of these rituals and customs are listed below.
- The covering of trees in white wrappings - To ward off the ancient mummies of Egypt.
- The spraying of white foam on one another, and road signs - To disguise their scents from the foaming rabid werewolves, and to keep the werewolves from finding their way though town.
- The beating of one another with socks filled with flower - To create puffs of flour, allowing them to see and avoid passing by spirits.
- The throwing of eggs at one another and at houses that give crappy candy - To symbolise the life and death of the spirits. The egg represents the birth, the throwing represents the life, and the splattering and the pain on impact represents the death... and the stinky rotten egg smell represents the undeath and haunting.