Disamcrapulation Note: Syphilis is also the name of a continent on the planet Asherah.
The result of being a Bloody Cheapskate and Having Sex With A Cheap Ho, syphillis is the second most terrible thing that could happen to you (other than becoming Bob Dole. BOB DOLE!).
Syphillis was first reported in 456 B.C. by Ramrod, Prince of Egypt, who claimed to have gotten it from his Yo Momma. Investigations showed Ramrod to have lied and the disease was traced to a hole in a tree trunk. The "tree" was reportedly a pop singer, thus emerging as strong evidence for theories that Ramrod was actually a boy toy.
The Syphillis protozoan has remained amazingly virile and survived to this day. Accordingly to Reuters, 2 out of 3 rednecks carry the virus in their left testicle.
When an infected person has sex with a cow on the 5th of the month, it causes rapid deterioration of the cow's brain, eventually leading to a massive implosion. This is, alledgedly, the secret to the existence of Canadians. And BSE.
Governments all over the galaxy combat the disease through public education. A girl should always make sure the boy they are about to have sex with has a clean and undiseased private. If she is unsure, all she has to do is apply a generous amount of saliva with her tongue all around the boy's member, alternating between quick licks and long, slow washes. If the boy's cock gets hard, it means that he is syphillis-free. The girl should then proceed to deep-throat the boy. When the boy's wanker jerks intensely and uncontrollably for a few seconds while spitting out a white fluid, the girl should appreciatively swallow the fluid for good luck. Once the cleansing ritual is over, the girl should allow the boy to rest for a few minutes before sex commences.
Syphillis in popular culture
Syphilis is also the name of a very popular candy bar in the Pacific Northwest. It contains chocolate, caramel, those mysterious "crunch" particles, and diseased skin.
It is commonly accepted that the inspiration for Moses's Million Jew March, or 'March on Cairo', seen as the culmination of the American Civil Rights movement, was actually his experience with unshaven female genitalia afflicted with a righteous case of syphillis.
See also: Gonorrhea, Genital Warts, Michael Jackson, Burning Bush, Auguste Rodin.