"I can't understand what you are saying. I'm sorry, I don't speak Egyptian. Do any of you speak Hebrew? No? How about Mosesish? Anyone? Damnit. Ok, I tell you what, I'll just take my people and go...okay?"

Moses to Pharaoh in their vaudeville act, A funny thing happened on the way to the desert...


  1. An historical figure who believes that his toeses are roses. But he supposes erroneously. For nobody's toeses are poses of roses, as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
  2. A standard of comparison involving age. For example, the joke in No.1 above is as old as Moses' toes, and twice as corny.
  3. More than one Mose.
  4. Less than one Moseses.
  5. One of the earliest known Jedi.
  6. Founder of Krav maga
  7. Moses "the Ownerer" was a key figure in the restoration of the TK School of hard knocks during the latter part of your mom.
This is a disambiguation page. This means absolutely nothing. Or maybe it means something. Keep guessing and maybe one day you'll figure it out.


Contents

MOSES - THE MYTH

The Inventor of Cheesy Beans


As it was written in 1989. Moses parted the red sea to lead his pets to the beach for a BBQ. This was not the only power he had mastered.

Moses also parted his hair on the left side, and also enjoyed parting his legs to show his big willy off.

His best and ever parting was on his dinner plate, where some say he mastered the art of parting. Moses ( no shit ) could part his baked beans down the middle of the plate, he would then be able to grate some red lancashire through the trench. The walls of hot beans would come crashing down, leaving the cheese to melt underneath. MMM He would also use ketchup, daddies brown sauce, or more beans as a cheese substitute. MMM

The baked bean feasts of which he was famous, many prefered his to jesus's picky fish buffet's, would produce alot of hot gas. Moses loved nothing better than to lift up his god robe, dangle his big willy, and part his bum cheeks to release a nauseus cloud of nostril stinging methane and sometimes if your lucky a big holy poo.

Excerpt from newly discovered Bible scrolls in Brooklyn

"I am Moses, leader of the Jews. This is Aaron, my eloquent friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I raised my magic staff and said "By the power of YH'WH!!! I HAVE THE POWER!!!"

Only three others know this secret, our friends, Miriam, Zipporah and Joshua. Together we fight the evil forces of the Pharoah."

Moses's Military Conquests

Moses' victory over the British in a battle over the low-fat mayonnaise feild in Nebraska is his most widely respected military victory. His army of fifteen and one-half demigods defeated a much larger British army of fifteen and two-thirds hemispheres.

This battle led to the famous Ballad, "The Plight of Moses"

Translated by mushroom scholars, it believed to proclaim:

M-O-A-OZIS! Moazis! Moazis!

I'm the British, and Moazis defeated me.

Refrain: M-O-A-OZIS!

He ate me on beans with ketchup.

Refrain

See also