"No comment."
~ Lord Byron on caring
“What? I see your lips moving, but all I hear is 'blah blah blah.'”
~ Oscar Wilde on not caring
"I wouldn't drop the Bomb on Hiroshima, since it has innocent civilians...if I cared."
~ Harry Truman on caring
"I say it's time for nobody to care, for them to not do what they're doing - because I'm gonna wake up real soon, and there's no telling what's gonna go down."
~ Tupac Shakur on pointless human activity
"I care, dammit!"
~ Nobody on not caring
Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration.
Contents |
Origins in Ancient Greece
The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure.
Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat.
Basic Usage Principles and Functionality
The proper implementation of NC is a complicated process involving mass mobilization, social planning, and charismatic leadership. Well, not really. No one cares enough to do that. No one cares about how this works either, just as long as it does. Read some other part of the damn article.
Continued Prevalence
Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death.
Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born.
Some people decided they were lords and crushed the peasantry which begot the Feudal Era. The peasants didn't want to be serfs, but nobody cared and they got whipped for not wanting things.
Everybody decided they hated Jews next, and the Jews insisted they never did anything, but nobody cared and Spain kicked them out. The Muslims too.
Witches started hexing everyone next. Well, they claimed it was an accident, but nobody cared and the witches were burned.
Then the people of France were upset by their monarchy. The monarchy decided that nobody cared and the people decided to revolt.
Around that time, Britain decided to tax the American colonies. The colonists decided that nobody cared about what Britain wanted and started a war.
Stuff kept happening in Europe, but it's generally agreed that nobody cares.
Recent Years
Humanity started to exist because nobody cared about cleaning up under the bed.
There were a bunch of native people living in America with rights to the land, but nobody cared. They took all the land and gave the natives diseases and the government decided nobody gave a crap and set up laws about the right way to steal land.
This guy invented kitten huffing, but no one cared about that, either.
Enslaved persons didn't like being forced to work, but nobody cared and they were whipped and auctioned off. The government agreed that nobody cared about black people and prohibited giving them rights.
There was a civil war, but nobody cares why or who won.
The Irish potatoes got sick and the Irish came to America. Nobody cared that they were hungry and told them, "Irish Need Not Apply." The government had already decided that nobody liked the Irish and didn't care.
Karl Marx started communism, but nobody cared because he was German.
Russia had a revolution or two, but they sort of canceled out, so nobody cares.
The Titanic sunk, but honestly, who gives a crap? Never let go... Too bad, Jack, nobody cares.
Then there was a bunch of stuff about rights and who gets to vote and who gets lynched, but nobody cares.
Then there was a war in Europe and nobody cared.
There was a depression and lots of people died, but nobody cares.
Hitler started sending Jews to holiday camps(allegedly), but nobody cared and America only wanted to end the depression and establish its place in the world.
Then everybody found out Hitler was killing the Jews and nobody cared that nobody had cared.
Joe McCarthy ruined peoples lives by declaring them commies, but no one gave a fat flying fuck.
The hippies started spawning and protesting and doing drugs and making love, but nobody cares about hippies.
The Vietnamese dug all these tunnels or something, but the army didn't care enough to dig them all up.
Nelson Mandela started to care about the oppression in South Africa, but nobody cared so he got put in jail.
Then more stuff happened, but nobody cares about any of it except maybe September 11th. Sometimes.
Today
When told that there weren't any WMDs in Iraq and that there was no reason to invade, George Bush is said to have said, "Nobody cares anyways."
Um, something about a popey thing way off in La La Land caused a lot of people to be sad, but even more couldn't care less.
Baseball thought it was exciting, but nobody actually gives a potato.
Celebrities did a bunch of stuff, but nobody cared enough to pay attention.
Something happened in New Orleans, doing some stuff and causing Kanye West to complain about someone not caring about something or someone, but no one really cares.
The Supreme Court guy died or got sick or retired or something. Then they replaced him, but it's not like anyone cared.
Steve Ballmer wanted to kill something, but nobody cares.
It is dark and you are likely to be eaten by a Grue, but nobody cares. In fact, they're going to be glad that you're gone.
Your mom died, but no one really cared.
Ariel Sharon is probably going to die soon, who cares? Nobody, that's who.
Somebody huffed kittens, but nobody cared.
Somebody made a lot of important contributions to Uncyclopedia, but the admins decided that "nobody cares anyways" and banned them.
Despite mottos to the contrary, nobody in the Microsoft corporation cares where you want to go today.
Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cares.
Nobody cares about anything, and nobody cares about that.
Tomorrow
Men will reach Mars with their bare teeth and nobody will care.
Windows WTF will be released and nobody will care.
Bush will die and nobody but monkeys all over the world will care.
You will probably make a big decision tomorrow, but then again, nobody will care.
The Rest of the World
Nobody cares.
This Article
We'd finish this article, but nobody ca
| Featured Thing | Featured something-or-other: 6 January 2006 |
I guess someone put this whatever on the front page thing.—you can something or something else your least-unfavorite whatevers at somewhere, but nobody cares.
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