- Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Exploding Head Syndrome?
“Holy shit - that dude's head just blew off! Did ya see that? That was fucked up!”
~ Oscar Wilde on SEHS
SEHS (Spontaneously Exploding Head Syndrome), often confused with EHS, first began when the famous author, HG Wells, wrote a book called The Time Machine. Upon reading the novel, people were prompted to ask the question:
"If I went back in time and changed the future, wouldn't it mean that in that future I wouldn't have wanted to go back in time and change the future, which would mean that I never went back in the first place, which would mean that I would have wanted to go back into the future, which would mean that I didn't but...", and so on. Because human beings in this part of history had no defence against infinite time loops the human brain would overload and burst, ruining everyone's nice Victorian clothing.
The Time Machine was banned for, well, a time before resurfacing in the 1980s under the name of The Terminator, causing massive cranial explosions in all of the major cities in North America. Many of the finest and most intelligent minds of our century were wiped out by this debilitating condition. This helped cause the New York Blackouts, American Idol, Big Brother and inspired most of the special effects in Dawn of the Dead.
There is some dispute over this syndrome as to whether it should actually be called "SAHS", short for: Spontaneously Asploding Head Syndrome or stay as "SEHS". It is said that the monkeys in the labs (OLPWMAS: Official Lab Place Where Monkeys Asplode Stuff) are still arguing over it, using humans as experimental guinea pigs. The monkeys have recently announced that OLPWMAS has made no progress whatsoever and that there have been many casualties. The case stands at a stand still.
Other Causes Of SEHS
- Trying to explain the popularity of Big Brother
- Listening to George Bush for too long
- Filling out bureaucratic forms
- When women tell men that "you should know why I'm angry. I shouldn't have to tell you".
- Attempting to get a VISA from the Chinese or American embassy
- Extreme sarcasm
- Navigating voice response menus when calling for service
- Being logged into too many systems, all with different ids (worse if you have to go through one to get to the next)
- Stoically trying to convince yourself your head will not explode to get over the fear of your head exploding.
Famous SEHS Sufferers
- HG Wells
- The Bride of Frankenstein
- Woody Allen
- Einstein's friend, Jim Nearpodil
- Magpie of varpovaara
See also
- SIDS (Sudden Instant Death Syndrome)