Snails are slugs which can afford housing. Essentially, a snail is the equivalent of a capitalist scum American imperialist flaunting its superior living condition in the poor slug's face as the slug tirelessly eats cabbage in your garden. Or, alternatively, a snail is the equivalent of a hard-working slug achieving the American dream, thanks to the grace of God and Sam Walton.
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Economic importance
Snails are an important part of several vital world industries:
- One of the three elements of which boys are made: see also snakes and puppy dog tails;
- One of the four food groups of France, where it is known as escargôt;
- The snail is also the official mascot of the snail mail delivery service worldwide.
Distribution
Snails inhabit the four corners of the Earth, including France.
French Snails
The French snail, also known as "L'escargot très rapid"; is considered one of the world's fastest snails. One variety of this uncommonly fast snail has been known to ooze at speeds of more than fifty two-hundred and sixtieths of a mile per hour.
Scottish Snails
Scottish Snails have been hunted to near extinction through the ancient bloodsport of Quiching.