“A trekkie is a nerd, who will never get laid”
~ captain obvious on trekkies
“God, no I would never kiss a trekkie, yuck.”
~ Cheerleader on making out with trekkies
“All trekkies know that Kirk is the coolest!”
~ William Shatner on Trekkies
“Give it up billy, they know that Picard rules all.”
~ Patrick Stewart on that last comment from william shatner
“Well then, why do they watch voyager so much.”
~ Captain Janeway on the last two comments
“Because they like Seven of Nine, you bitch”
~ Patrick and William on on that last comment made by Janeway
A trekkie is someone that does not have a life, aside from watching Star Trek.
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[edit] Origin
The word "Trekkie" is actually a Latin word meaning "He who has no life". Most of the time, however, it's a reverence to a Star Trek fan who is still a Star Trek virgin. As most Star Trek fans know, Star Trek is a program that is situated in a parallel universe. A universe in which disk-like objects can reach warp speed 7/11 and in which we actually NEED the fucking French. This also works like that with Star Trek virginity: the bigger the chance you get to have sex in this universe, the smaller the chance you have to get sexually harassed by an alien probe in the Star Trek universe. As a result of this, it is important to be a total nerd to lose your Star Trek virginity. The time when you can say the last number of pi is often considered the time when you lose Star Trek virginity. Becoming a trekkie is the American equivalent of a Japanese man crashing his plane into a boat or a British man chopping the end of his willy off. In the end it means a short life, no sex and the closest thing to a woman that you ever see is your klingon counterpart who calls you "Spockinator" on your online chat room. You often chat about how you would make baby klingons by fusing the energy from your phasers. Female trekkies tend to have phaser and photon cannon fetishes where they pleasure themselves with phasers and all that geeky shit. Trekkies usually get angry if you tell them that Star Trek is not real, so be careful when your handling them. Also they have a major weak point. Telling them that No one gives a shit about star trek.
[edit] Trekkism
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There are several stages in which Trekkism can occur. The most important stages are:
Stage 1: Often revered to as the "sleeping stage". In this stage, Star Trek is of no interest to the subject. The subject in this stage has to be woken up by the ultimate truth: Jean Luc Picard (more commonly known as the more awesome than Kirk) is God.
Stage 2: This is the stage in which most Star Trek fans are: they respect the fact that Jean Luc Picard(more awesome then Kirk) is God, but don't worship him that much. These people are often called "Liberal Trekkies".
Stage 3: Now, the Trekkie-ness gets really out of hand. In this stage, the Trekkie will not accept the laws and values of the country he lives in and only accepts the learnings of the Prophet McCoyhammed. Also, in the name of worship, the Trekkie masturbates everyday to a picture of Number one having scat-spiked-dildo sex with Leeta. The Trekkies in this stage are called "Trekdamentalists".
Stage 4: This stage is unreachable alive, because a Trekkie has to sacrifice himself to the halfgod Cristopher Pike(also known as the really, really unawesome Kirk, who has two and a half penises, shaped like pikes (hence the name). The sacrifice takes place as followed: the Trekkie drinks a lot of beer (his first and last experience with it) and finds himself into a Nirwana - like state. Because of this huge amount of beer, he has to poop really, really hard, but he doesn't. He just sits and waits until he explodes in an huge explosion (often called a "Steam butthole explosion"). It is important that he sits next to a wall, because his remains of the explosion should fly in such a way, that the crappy-bloody stain on the wall resembles Spock. If the Trekkie succeeds, he goes to heaven, where he will be rewarded with 72 Montgomery "Scotty" Scotts, who, when they hear the super-duper-secret line ("beam me up, Scotty"), will collectively use a light saber while screaming "Lightning Bolt!!!11!!" to fuck the Trekkie in the asshole. This, according the ancient legend, feels so wrong and so bad, yet sounds quite tasty, that they can keep it up forever. After that, they reincarnate as Boy George's penis, which is a punishment for their guilty pleasures.
Stage 5: This stage is when the Trekkie agrees with the Star Trek Devil Khan for trading his soul to receive a way to capture the Enterprise. The Trekkie will then borrow a ship from Khan and go after the Enterprise, Kidnap Picard and Kirk and by the time the trekkie enters the Enterprise, Khan will pull the soul of the trekkie toward Star Trek Hell and torture the trekkie by making him watch Star Trek Animated Series.
Stage 6:This stage is when the Trekkie finds out that