The great Trojan War was an epic battle of condoms that ravaged the earth for a millenia. Major battle locations include Athens, Rome, the Mushroom Kingdom, Hell, and Club Paris in Jacksonville, Florida. The Trojans emerged victorious, breaking the defenses in a tide of testosterone-induced power.
Two popular brands, Trojan and Lifestyles, were in a competition to generate more revenue. Trojans were endorsed by such celebrities as George Washington, Adolf Hitler, and the Headless Horseman. On the other end of the spectrum, Lifestyles had gathered the support of the count of Monte Crisco, Dracula, and King Henry XXNGVIIRTHYSSIIIII.
Heroes emerged on both sides. Trojan general Dick Hertz's surprise ambush on the Lifestyles Vulva base cost the enemy severely, and they barely had the elasticity to strike back. Jedi Lifestyles commander Obi-Wan Kenobi, along with co-commander Hugh Jorgan, claimed responsibility for the bombing of the Prince Albert Piercing Missle Production Factory.
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