“I once saw a television.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Television

"Smaller then A holodeck, No smellyvision, Lame !!!."

~ CmdrTaco on Television

"In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU!"

~ Russian reversal on Television

"In Soviet Russian, TV turns on YOU!"

~ Russian reversal on Television...again
DVB: Demonic Video Broadcasting?

A television is a special device developed by Oprah and Nintendo in an attempt to take over the world using subliminal messages with white trash and computer animated plumbers.

Televisions are magical boxes with pictures and sound. Televisions have been known from time to time to eat people and shoot politicians. Televisions tell everybody to be kill, apart from the times they tell people to be aliens. They are really good at keeping sad acts company, and rewarding me with flashing lights and funky music everytime I kill innocent babies and give lots of men pleasure with their tongues and foreskins or lack thereof.

Some philosophers have taken the view of Heidegger, who teaches that television, similar but not totally unlike language, lives. It is advised that one visits his or her local pest-control center to take appropriate measures against them. Television can lead to serious parasites, such as language.

Contents

History

No shit on TV.

Television (or TV) was originally a device used by infants in the developed world for looking at breasts, a rôle undertaken in earlier decades by National Geographic magazine. Parents often use Television as a means of delivering material unpopular with the FCC to their children.

Janet Jackson invented Television in 1942 under serendipitous circumstances at the High-energy magic institute (HEM). The original objective of Janet Jackson's research group was the invention of a Death Ray for use against the jewels in Hitler's Germany.

The sole inventor of television is Philo Farnsworth, and nobody else. Television was also solely invented by John Logie Baird, Vladimir Zworykin, Herbert Cecil Booth and Thomas Crapper, depending on whom you ask, what they had for lunch that day, and the number of Trabants manufactured in East Germany from July 1980 to August 1982, multiplied by the precise length of Spock's ears in series 2.

In 1900, Thomas Edison discovered that the television could also be used to educate the general public about important political and social issues. He was drawn and quartered by the Freemasons before this dangerous information could be given to the general public.

In 1969, Monty Python's Flying Circus debuted on British television and Pythonism became the official religion of TV Land.

Later, in 1977, Rupert Murdoch bought TV. Those who rallied against this development were doused in kerosene and set ablaze by the staff of Fox News Channel. The resulting video footage won America's Funniest Home Videos' $20,000 grand prize.

Some time in 1989 kids in USA had recieved seizures from a Pokemon episode entitled 'Terror Soldier Porygon2!' later followed up by Japanese children in a Pokemon episode entitled 'Electric Soldier Porygon!'.

TV Today

Oh a classic the Television, where would america be with out the dumbest enterainment and the most brain washing. With all these new things coming out every day,

...and many other additions coming out while you are reading but is there the fact that we are really going to get stupid by these so called "BrAiN wAsHiNg DeViCeS" I dont think that we are really affected!

Brain Washing?

The correct term for brain washed is; some one who is a nerd, gets takin to the back of a dark alley, and a bunch of gangsters beat the living daylite out of him causing him to be retarded, or not remmember anything and become under ones spell...

But how can the brain wash term connect to television, it can't my friend. so sit back and watch t.v. all you want, become a couch potato for all i care. live the american dream, be fat, lazy, hemeriods, and other deseases.

"We have taken some test subjects and put themin rooms. we took 1 smart person and stuck him in a room with the cartoons on. after 5 hours he came out going, "deh, de, duh" so we concluded that he became a mentally retarded idiot, not brain washed."
"We took a stupid person that had watched t.v. all his life and stuck him in a room with a book for 5 hours, after he came out he was so confused because he had never seen a book in his life, he didnt even know how to open it..."

Brainwashing and How to Prevent It

As you've seen and heard, the television is a tool used by the government to hypnotise the masses into doing their bidding (whatever that may be). The television uses subliminal messages to tell people what to do, and once the person does it they are rewarded by a series of bright lights and high pitched sounds. This process of demand and reward slowly brainwashes the idiot dumb enough to get caught in its trap. When the watcher reaches a state of worship to the TV, or "king box" as they call it, they are called TV junkies. Eventually they will become a mindless slave to Oprah or Spongebob Squarepants.

The only way to prevent this condition is to NOT START IN THE FIRST PLACE. If you are reading this, and think that you can watch it without getting brainwashed, my clinja WILL GET YOU.

If you know someone who is a TV junkie, the only way to cure him is through a complex process. First you must isolate the victim from his TV, until he can live without the TV. This might take 3-7 days of intense solitary and rehabilitation. To test to see if your target is rehabilitated yet, show it an unplugged TV. If the junkie calls it his "precioussss", there's more work to be done. When the target forgets who Oprah, Spongebob Squarepants, or George Bush is, he is cured.

Trivia





WARNING: Everything you see on TV is TRUE. TV is the
only visual medium noted for its complete lack of shit.

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See also