A Mollocks-class spaceship, made famous by the reality TV show Star Trek.

Contents

Origins

Originally an ocean going vessel in the Royal Navy, the H.M.S. Enterprize (as it was then known) was built at the famous Leicester ship yards during the letter S rationing era, for the British Queen Staci IIb. The role of the Enterprize was to transport Hazardous Material Supplies such as spam, salad cream, Woodbines, warm beer and delicious sand worms to Britain for use in the Ploughman's lunch industry, from the Heathen countries that regarded such materials as waste. She served the Navy well for 250 years, before that fateful night under the command of Captain Ronald Reagan, known in those times as Wolfboy, she took a wrong turn and instead of sailing for Nottingham she ended up in orbit above the Earth. Moderately concerned with the lives of the crew, and desperate for the supplies of invertebrates, the British government turned to the European Space Agency (ESA) for help. This was a controversial choice, as the ESA was best known at the time for blowing up small South American islands, pyramid schemes and clog dancing. The mission to rescue the Enterprize was considered a partial success. Although 95% of the ship and crew were sent through a wormhole, the ESA managed to blast a small beagle puppy at Mars, averting a suspected Martian invasion, and preventing Tom Cruise.

The Enterprise

After this mission, Europe decided to get back to having a war, and the Enterprize was sold to America. The American government re-named the ship U.S.S. Enterprise. U.S.S. stands for U Suck Starship, as the popular music group Jefferson Starship refused to sell the name Starship. Unknown to them, the s in Enterprise denoted "spaceship". The American government gave control of the Enterprise to NASA as a bribe to stop NASA from saying anything about the Alien lizards who had taken control of the World Bank, the Freemasons, the Illuminati and Arby's. NASA chose to rebuild the ship, almost from scratch, following a design they found in the Bible when they took drugs and read the story of Noah's Ark. The newly redesigned Starship Enterprise was then bought by William Shatner, which he used to fly around Uranus to look for Klingons. After that, he roamed the Universe looking for sight-impaired blue women he could molest.

Captains of the Enterprise

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