Danger! Danger! Mr. Smith This article is a complete ripoff of Wikipedia's Manual of Style. Please don't sue me.
This Style Guide is just that: a style guide. No bells and whistles here, boys. It has the simple purpose of making Uncyclopedia complete nirvana for all to enjoy as they sit at their computers turning into brain-dead zombies. It will fulfill this purpose by providing a consistent...um...guide to style. Remember, however, that rules and regulations such as these, in the nature of the case, cannot be endowed with the fixity of rock-ribbed law. They are meant for the average case, and must be applied with a certain degree of elasticity. In other words, this stuff is flexible. Like taffy. Only if you try to eat this, you'll end up with electric shock and, more importantly, a broken monitor. Like taffy. Remember that this is not a guide to being funny, we already have that. ON WITH THE SHOW!!!
Contents |
Titles
Article titles are, to put it bluntly, the essence of an article. Without a title, an article cannot exist; likewise, an article cannot exist without a title. The only rule for titles is that they have to have something to do with the article that you're writing. This article would be nonsensical under the title, "Free IPods", especially since this article requires no participation whatsoever and is in fact a Free Style Guide!. Oh, and one more thing. Make the first mention of the words in the title bold, by doing this.
'''boldness'''
You don't have to do this, and shouldn't, for the text after headings, unless that heading comes directly after the title with nothing in between.
Headings (like this one)
Headings are more ferocious than even kittens, and should be approached with extreme caution. However, you can reduce this risk, by doing the stuff in the box below.
=This is a big, scary heading.= ==This one is a bit smaller, but still dangerous as a fierce kitten.== ===By this size, they are almost manageable.=== =====Finally, a safe heading.=====
By doing this, you can live safely in Uncyclopedia.
BIG LETTERS
Capital letters are quite important to making Uncyclopedia look like a satire of Wikipedia and not like a chatroom. othrwise, it would l00k somthing like this. Which is, very unprofessional. How to use capital letters is detailed below.
Nobility
When saying "President Harrison", don't say "president Harrison". If only referring generically, such as "Jim was the grand emperor", you don't have to capitalize "emperor". If saying "George W. Bush", feel free to butcher it up as much as you need to.
Religion'n'such
Religions and gods should be capitalized. Usually, strong opinions are welcome, but don't make fun of religions because the people belonging to them will crush you with their willpower. I'm an Atheist, I should know. Too bad I have a really slow learning curve.
24/7
Months, days, holidays... they have their subtle differences, but they all need to be capitalized. Seasons usually aren't capitalized. Only when they are personified (i.e., Summer has pummeled me with warmness) does the full essence of the word get to be unleashed.
Lost in Space?
We can help you. Just remember that names of planets and stars other than our own should be capitalized. They are indeed proper nouns and therefore should be treated with respect and love. However, sun, earth, and moon are only proper nouns if you are an astronomer or live on Jupiter.
Places
If places are proper nouns, capitalize them. If not, don't. If you're not quite sure, don't. And remember that north, south, east and west are not proper nouns. Spank them until they become proper.
Snooty institutions
If institutions are specific, capitalize them. If not, don't. Elementary, my dear Watson. Elementary.
Italics
Italics, if you don't know already, are done with this markup.
''Italics''
They are used in the following.
- Bacteria, when said in the fancy way (as in bacillis subtillis)
- Books; if you didn't know that then you stink at English
- Games, the good kind
- Court cases, excluding court briefcases
- Movies
- Poems over 3 stanzas
- Music albums
- Passenger trains whose owners were pretentious and named them
- Classical music works
- Periodicalities
- Plays
- Boats
- TV shows
- "Art"
On the following, just use quote marks.
- Articles, essays, etc.
- Book chapters
- Episodes of TV shows
- Short literature
On the following, use nothing.
- Scripture
- Legal stuff
Quotation
Just follow the regular rules of quotation in the English-speaking world. Nothing else to it. If you happen to speak another language, sorry chump, blame Globalization while you're eating your Big Mac.
Articles
Note: These are the little ones that have lost their way. Don't let those devils over at Wikipedia confuse you with that other kind. They're just trying to trick you into being a coke mule for their global Tic Tac Pyramid Scheme.
Believe it or not, articles can be as short as one, two or three letters, although it makes one wonder what is their purpose. If you ever write a text longer then three letters, just take a handful of a's, ans and thes and sprinkle them over it.
WARNING: IF statement has then without matching else.
Tip: aim ahead of nouns.
Apostrophes
Apostrophes have a long and storied history dating back to 1977 when Joe Apostrophe, the owner of Apostrophe's Pizza and Gyros found a solution to his two biggest problems: a way to separate the letter s from other letters in words he used, and having a form of punctuation named after him.
Of course, this story has been denied, due in large part to the Liberal Media.
1) Apostrophes are used to indicate possive nouns and contractions.
- Good: I'm going to steal the pirate's sword.
2) They are not used to indicate plurals.
- Bad, bad and bad: The ninja's stole my CD's and DVD's.
2a) Silly exception: single letters are made plural with -'s.
- Actually good: Johnny got mostly A's and B's on his report card.
3) It's vs. its
If the word means "it is", use "it's". If the word means "something belonging to it", use "its".