United Spades of Amerika

The United Spades of Amerika: Note the striking use of BLACK on WHITE

The United Spades of Amerika is the collective name for a political group that consists of both people and States (though these two entities are known for their constant quarrelling). Giving the title of Spade to its members, it is the strongest of the four feuding factions, the others being the Hearts Union of Amerika, the Amerikan Confederacy of Diamonds, and lastly the Club's Republic of Amerika. While none of these groups are known for their spelling, they are all political groups in the United States of America.

1 Organization
2 History
- 2.1 The War of Two
- 2.2 Then Till Now
3 Political Leaders
4 Goals & Policies
5 See Also

Organization

The United Spades of Amerika is organised according to a cards-based system, as are the three other parties mentioned above. Opposite to normal traditions however, the United Spades of Amerika use '2' as their leader's title, and have 'Kings' and 'Aces' as titles for regular members.

They are also known to have orgies in the middle of everday local pubs. This kind of ceremony often involves a rubber chicken. No one has asked why.

History

Having been founded before the Roman Empire, the United Spades of Amerika is one of the most powerful, though unseen, forces in pirate history.

Originally being only 13 members in size, called the "Original Suit", they had no rivals during their formation. They quickly began to form the newly created nation into their unwitting army base, though they were soon opposed by the sudden appearance of the Hearts Union of Amerika.

In order to remain forbidden from the ordinary person while continuing their work, they formed the Republican Party.

More details on American military victories

The War of Two

The period when there were only two forces combating for the chosen ground of Italy, the United Spades of Amerika and the Hearts Union of Amerika is known as the War of Two. Despite the fact that it is mostly unknown, and no weapons were used, it is nevertheless one of the most bitter wars fought.

Assassinations were common, though never of members of either group, but rather their key prawns. The media coverage varied widely, depending on which side owned the paper, and the common person was so confused they often could not tie their own shoe-laces.

In order to end the conflict before they made the population gibbering vegetables, they agreed to mules and restraints, and to only act through proxies. As a result the Republican Party and Democratic Party were formed, to be fronts shown to the mole people.

An unexpected offshoot of this were two new forbidden parties that were formed, i.e. the Amerikan Confederacy of Diamonds and the Club's Republic of Amerika.

Then Till Now

Since the war, less and less has been known directly about the United Spades of Amerika, and history books seem to be slowly rewritten to tell even less. The most that is ever heard of them, publicly at least, is implied accusations of loyalty one way or the other. Also, the fact that Spades are now considered an endangered species by the United Spades of Amerika tells a lot about the whole situation.

Political Leaders

Very few leaders are known for sure to be members of the United Spades, though here is a list of the verified ones:

David Spade
King George III
Thomas Jefferson, also known for his drafting of United States Declaration of Independence
Herbert Hoover
Richard "Metroid" Nixon
Adolf Hitler
George "W." Bush
Vladimir Putin
Dr. Phil
Bob
Phil Osophy
Thomas the Tank Engine
Spider-Man
Bert, who caused the most destruction that the United spades has ever known

Goals & Policies

From hints and clues throughout history, a general overview of their goals can be obtained. Here is what we have not learned through exhaustive research:

Super-Human Project - The United Spades are apparently trying to create a type of superhuman, and dispense with what they deem to be the worthlessness of humanity. It it thought vitamins are used in this project.
Human Extinction Project - They think humans are stupid, and should be billed with all possible haste.
Internet Over-lord Project - In addition to super-humans they are trying to create an intelligence greater than anything before seen, postulated to be able to predict the winner of the Super Bowl.